We often find ourselves complaining about so many things in life – our careers, our love relationships or lack of, our homes, our financial state, the time that we have to enjoy life…”I wish my job did not suck as much”, “I wish I could just go off on a holiday anytime I want”, “I wish I were rich”, “I wish I had more time for myself or my family”, “I wish my prince charming would finally arrive”, “I wish I did not have to be a corporate slave”, “My life is so freaking boring”. Any of those sound familiar? How old are you right now? I’m not going to say at your age you should be living your dreams already. I’m actually going to go as far as, at any point in our lives, we should be living it with utmost fulfillment (or at least working towards it). Wouldn’t it feel great to live as we wish and have absolutely nothing to complain about? Wouldn’t it be awesome to look forward to each waking day because you are just so excited to feel each minute, each second of your desirable life? Well, for sure, sulking will get us nowhere and we should all just stop complaining and stop merely wishing and actually start doing. Here are some helpful tips on how you could start working towards living a life of fulfillment.
Embrace change. If you feel lost or stuck in your life, do not fret! It only means that you need to shake your game a bit and embrace change. If for the past months or even years (or, God forbid, decades), you have constantly been getting a lot of dissatisfaction in whatever facet of your life, it’s because you have probably been settling and accepting things for what they are, doing the same things and getting the same mediocre results. If you are scared to try new things because you have always done things a certain way, then you will always just keep getting what you have been getting. Resistance to change is also a resistance to improvement and growth, and drops a big-ass boulder or a Great Wall of China-type of obstacle right smack in the middle of the road to your dreams. It is a sign that you are settling with whatever situation you are in at the moment – in terms of your achievement, your work or even your relationships. If your current situation is a state of perfection, if it gives 100% satisfaction and fulfillment, then by all means – just stay there and resist change if you do not want it. But if you see room for improvement in whatever aspect of your life, if things are good but you know they could be even better, if you are happy but you know you could be happier, if you are healthy but you know you could be healthier, if you have helped some but you know you can help more – then be open to change, do not be hesitant to doing things differently like changing jobs, shifting to a totally new career path, starting your own business, trying online dating or adopting a totally fresh outlook on how you approach life.
It all starts with a vision. As Bell Hooks puts it, what we cannot imagine cannot come into being. If you have been dreaming or wishing for something, that’s actually a good start. Now just make it a little more concrete and a little more defined.
First, you need to take a minute to just listen to what your heart’s true desires are. How do you genuinely want to live your life? What is it that you really want? What will give you utmost fulfillment and bliss? The fundamental thought that you need to know and hold on to is that you can create your future, and each decision you make influences that future. It is quite a big responsibility, actually, but as you become more aware of what your true desires are, you are able to make better decisions. So the point is, you really can create and achieve anything you want but it is also good to know and be clear about what it is you do want. A moment of peace that can allow you some time away from stress, concerns and distractions like meditation, a walk in the park, an hour in the tub with essential oils and lighted candles, or a long drive alone to the countryside can help you tap into your inner self and figure out what is it you truly desire.
Second, create a vision board and make sure to put it in a prominent spot where you can see it often throughout the day. A vision board is a visual representation of your goals or desires in life through a collage of images that visually translate all of those. Your vision board will help activate the universal law of attraction to start manifesting your desires into reality. For those of you who are more left-brained (and with hard-to-convince, logical, analytical minds), the law of attraction is not just a bag of positive-think-your-way-to-life crap. Tristan Loo explains it well in his article that from a psychological view, the law of attraction can be explained by the information filtering system of the brain known as the reticular activating system (RAS). It is a small finger-sized control center at the base of the brain stem that filters incoming information that your brain receives and acts as a receiver for information tagged as important (Imagine you are in a room talking to several people and out in the far side of the room you hear your name. All your focus gets diverted in the direction that you heard your name because that bit of information is tagged by the RAS as important to you). With the extreme amount of information the brain can handle, your RAS is naturally programmed to prioritize information that is necessary for survival. Since the RAS cannot distinguish actual reality from a visualized reality, we can take advantage of this weakness to seek out stimuli in our environment that resonate with our goals and dreams. Vision boards serve the role of programming the RAS to tune into daily things in your environment that can help you move closer towards your vision.
If you want to be more strategic about your vision, you can also create SMART goals – goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time Bound. Just the same, build your SMART goals around your desires.
The objective here is to start getting us off the lazy state of mere sulking or wishing. Creating your vision or identifying your goals lifts you to a proactive state because you are now planting that seed of intention. When you genuinely desire and intend something, when you make that something truly matter to you no matter how huge or how far-out it may seem at the moment, consciously or subconsciously, you start to develop the attitudes, abilities, skills and even the financial capacity to reach them. You will even begin to open your eyes to previously overlooked opportunities and resources that will bring you closer to your dreams.
Make your Masculine energies serve your Feminine energies. In my last blog, Love & Reflections, I briefly talked about Masculine and Feminine energies but in the context of male and female relationships. As I mention it now, I am referring to both energies that you, as an individual, possess…”All of us, regardless of gender have both Feminine and Masculine energies. Like yin and yang, opposites do attract. The masculine energy attracts the feminine energy, and the feminine energy attracts the masculine energy just like how magnets attract the opposite.” Just to emphasize how important it is to have a vision, an important concept to understand is that the Masculine leads to the desires of the Feminine. Desire is Feminine, while action is Masculine. To understand this better, when you realize that you cannot walk to the kitchen without first desiring it, then it is easier to understand the subtler but real influence of setting an intention into the world. Pure feminine energy strongly pulls forth masculine energies to come out. When you clearly and strongly set your desire or vision which is a pure feminine energy, it naturally attracts the masculine energy within you – action – to fulfill those desires.
Lastly, there’s no time to waste! Let’s face it, we are not getting any younger. The more you delay working towards your dream, the lesser time you’ll have to actually enjoy it. Keep delaying and you might be dead before you know it. Stop thinking that you do not have time to work on your goals because you always have enough time for everything. It’s just a matter of being creative about how you manage your time. Keep your vision your top priority because out of the many things you exert time and effort on, this is actually something that is purely your own and will be for your highest good and personal fulfillment.
© Karen Cornejo, March 2014