I saw a friend of mine post the image below (see bottom of this blog) on Facebook. Emotionally stable, intelligent, good looking – pick two for your partner or for yourself, however you want to do it.
It’s quite funny really how it reflects the reality of how seldom it is that you would find everything you want or ever dreamed of in a person. I’m not talking about just the three choices in the image but every single, imaginable positive trait you want – your own idea of perfection. Maybe there are a lucky few but they must be God-like, really, if they are. But for the rest of us normal people, amidst all our positive traits, there seems to always be a catch, some sort of damage or brokenness, in all of us.
Just look at relationships. Is there ever one that is smooth-sailing from start to finish? Is there ever one that does not involve disagreements or challenges? No relationship is perfect because the people involved in it are not perfect as well.
Maybe your partner is beautiful, intelligent, funny, inspiring, mature, stable, loving and thoughtful beyond belief, and stimulating in every possible way. But what’s the catch? There is always a catch. Maybe despite all that, your partner has his or her share of insecurities, shallowness, stubbornness, recurring jealousy, co-dependency or some other type of emotional imbalance, maybe even an unwillingness to compromise. The catch can be beyond a trait. It could be financial or family problems, an addiction to work, kids from a previous relationship or maybe a past so broken that it just negatively affects every view he or she has of the future.
Sometimes these little imperfections get in the way of the happy relationship that you might have, so irritating at times that it would bring you to re-think everything. But is it the right thing to do? I think it is important to keep in mind that there is a reason why a person is the way he is. Something in the past made him that way and it does not mean he is like that just because he wants to. The same goes for you. Just like your imperfect partner and everybody else in this imperfectly weird and wonderful world, you are imperfect too. In the end, each one of us just wants to be understood, accepted, needed and loved. I am sure you do not want people to easily give up on you so do not just give up on people that easily too. You have got to always focus on the amazing and beautiful things you share with your partner and put more weight on the positive traits, all of those that made you fall in love with your partner in the first place.
So, yes, I guess we are all damaged. But it’s the people around us that accept us for who and what we are and see our beauty beyond our imperfections, that help heal us and help us transcend our shortcomings. Honestly, I am as damaged as they come. I have my own issues and challenges, and the savage ability to drive a partner crazy but I know I have a lot to offer as well. I am aware of my imperfections but it does not mean I just sit on my butt and allow them to freely grow like stubborn weeds. My life is a constant work in progress and so are my emotions. As I continuously strive for improvement, though, I also want to just be accepted and loved despite everything.
For all the awesome people in my life who stick with me through my craziness, thank you and I love you back. In return, I offer you every inch of my warmth, fuzzy love, joy, all the care I can offer, and my undying loyalty through hell or high water. Know that you are in my life because I choose you to be in it and I, too, accept you for all that you are and would keep your hand safely in mine despite any kind of insane warning label, waivers and disclaimers you come neatly bundled up with.
© Karen Cornejo, January 2013