I swear to God I am going to have a heart attack. What is the world coming to? There seems to be an epidemic of the eternity fever with weddings and engagements happening left and right. Just this year, at least four of my friends got married, I have attended two weddings in the past two months and will attend another two before the year ends. Just this past two weeks, five friends of mine changed their Facebook status from “in a relationship” to “engaged”. In the office, I am being overtaken by all the other seven younger women in my team who are either married or planning their wedding. Whatever happened to the rule of seniority? I think Cupid has an I.V. cocktail of Prozac, Red Bull and speed stuck into his big, plump vein.
Well, well, well..I must say that it is just utterly delightful to be surrounded by friends and acquaintances – my batch-mates – us, children of the fashion-disastrous 80s, who have come in acceptance of the fact that they are in that ripe, marrying age and embraced it with open arms, the warmth of surrender, and an excitement towards an all-of-a-sudden bright future they have never felt before. Good on you, all of you.
You know, a couple of years back, I was diagnosed with this rare eye condition, wherein an allergic reaction causes my tear ducts to swell and overflow, triggered by the sight of the church doors opening with the beautiful bride walking in. To cut a long story short (and the crap as well), I cry during weddings but not because I want to. It just happens automatically. It is as if there is this little girl with big wedding dreams inside me that goes on this “happy for the bride, what about me” drama. I just want to sock that little girl right smack on the face and make her shut up. But it is not just that. More often I cry, especially when it is a really close friend getting married, by the mere fact that I will totally miss this person. Marriage has taken quite a handful of single friends from me – friends I used to hang out a lot with, go places with and do crazy fun things with every time and anytime. I know things will never be the same. And then it gets worse when they start having babies. But don’t get me wrong, I am genuinely the happiest for them but then sad for me too.
So back to the craziness. This proliferation of knot-tying, admittedly, adds a bit of pressure for someone my age. All else but that considered, if I just sit down and reflect on how I truly feel at the moment, I am happy and contented. Being 31 and never been married does not make me any less of a person and it does not mean I lack love in my life. In fact, there is an overflow of love and happiness in my life and a multitude of opportunities ready for my picking.
While marriage is probably great, it is not a requirement for one’s 360 degree happiness. So all you unhooked beings out there worrying why everyone else is moving forward and you aren’t, do not fret. The grass always just seems greener on the other side but do not forget that the ones on the other side of the fence think the grass is also greener where you stand. Look at the world around you. There’s so much to do if you just embrace your freedom. Splurge. Travel. Dance. Surf. Buy tickets to the Bali Spirit Festival and do your Eat Pray Love sort of thing. Be as crazy as Carrie on Sex and the City. Go up the career ladder and garner your self-worth in the corporate world. Re-invent post-its. Whatever you choose to do while you kill time, have fun. Look beyond the pressure driven by the things happening around you.
Your time will come when all is right. When the perfect one is met and the timing is superb, everything will just fall into place. Then you would feel how awesome it is to have someone love you so much to commit his entire life to you, sans the fear of the past or the uncertainty of the future and just see the most important thing in the entire universe…you.
© Karen Cornejo, October 2012
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