I have caused myself far too many headaches by thinking too much. At work, there is already so much to stress about that any additional nagging thought with regard to personal life like relationships – love or friendship – is just pure migraine.
Too often, people tend to over-think things more than they deserve to be thought about. This is so common among women (though I know some men who are worse than most women!) – the ability (more like a disability, really) to overanalyze things and the notion that one has to “read between the lines.” I think this has much to do with women not being straightforward when they communicate. For example, a woman may answer “Nothing” when asked “Is there something wrong?’ when there is obviously something bothering her, and despite that “Nothing” answer, would expect the other party to determine that there is indeed something wrong and figure it out himself. Whereas, men are straightforward with their answers and would take anything that is said to them literally and think nothing more of it.
Have you ever assessed one statement by a guy and tried to figure out all possible angles of it? Like when a guy you are dating sends you a text message saying, “Hey sorry I can’t make it tonight. My mom asked me to do an errand. Tomorrow maybe?” Uh oh. The usual brain of a woman would start to go on hyperdrive and run a series of analyses as to what this message meant.
#1 Is he ditching me because he does not like me anymore? I am never good enough!
#2 Is he flirting around and actually has a date with another woman? My God that f** player!
#3 Oh he’s probably cooking up a surprise for me that’s why he needs more time to make tomorrow’s date super romantic. I better tell my girlfriends about this.
Go to extremes, why don’t you? One can often come up with numerous possibilities of what a single statement means without even looking at what the statement would have literally meant – in this case, the guy can’t see you tonight because he needs to do an errand for his mama bear. It can get worse for some if that text message did not end with a smiley face.
This is just a simple example, funny even. But the reality is, one can overanalyze not just statements but situations and actions that can have more serious and impactful outcomes like you acting upon or saying something to the other party involved based on an unfounded hypothesis of yours, thus, resulting to an unnecessary disagreement or creating a chaotic problem out of absolutely nothing!
The process of over-thinking itself consumes a big chunk of your day and heightens your stress levels. And did you know that stress is even one of the major factors of weight-gain because your body releases cortisol, which is a stress hormone that causes shifts in metabolism, blood sugar levels and cravings? So too much cortisol can slow down your metabolism, which lowers your ability to burn fat and instead increases your ability to store fat. So when you realize you are starting to overanalyze, stop right there and just think that what you are about to do can actually ruin your figure.
I also read somewhere that overanalyzing is a stress disorder that can affect your daily life. It can even be a symptom of depression or obsessive compulsive disorder. Though this is perhaps true, I also think the reverse is possible – that instead of it being a symptom of such, overanalyzing can actually LEAD to depression and obsessive compulsive disorder.
Anyway, what I am driving at is, aside from being time consuming and bothersome, overanalyzing is oftentimes unnecessary, will lead you nowhere, and will just create problems for you. In cases like this, you have to THINK LIKE A MAN (yeah yeah yeah…it is one of those times I hate to admit men are better than women at something). See and take things for what they are and just go with the flow. There is nothing between the lines except white space. You have to be in touch with your relaxed side and maintain your inner peace. What happens will happen but at least save yourself from premature and stressful worrying. And so altogether now.. Breathe. Stay calm. Stay positive. Stay happy as a hippo.
© Karen Cornejo, October 2012
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