Hearts break left and right, with even the strong and the seemingly indestructible finding themselves lost and hopeless at one point or another. The truth is, love does falter. It does happen that each possible effort exerted to salvage a relationship outcomes into a shaky mess. It only ever takes one person in a relationship to give up and raise the white flag and BAM! it is the end already. There is no hope when the willingness of one is gone.
Going thru a heartbreak and moving on is never easy. It never was and I don’t think it ever will be. I also know it’s different for everyone so I can say this and that, say I feel your pain, say that I know what you are going through but I know I will never know exactly what you are feeling. I will never feel your unique pain. But I will try my best to speak to you with an enlightened mind and an enlightened heart and maybe let the Universe speak through me too.
For the Instigator.
While it is earth-shattering to be at the losing end, it is equally hard to be the one leaving. It is a different kind of pain but still significantly heart-breaking. When you wake up with the realization that you are no longer in love with your partner, when you know deep in your heart that you want a drastic change, some sort of new excitement, a new life – yes you have had unresolvable or try-as-you-might-to-work-it-out-but-it’s-too-late problems but then you think about all the things you shared with your partner…awesome memories, favorite places, music, restaurants, hardships you overcame together, good friends, or maybe even kids…you feel nauseous thinking why you couldn’t go on anymore. While a big part of you wants to move on already and start your life anew, a part of you also feels so bad about your ex-partner and feels responsible to see him through the pain of being left alone that you find yourself stuck as well in a dilemma like no other. Be selfish and get on with your life or be selfless and stall for who knows how long? Eventually, you must learn to let go. You must listen to your heart and what you really want because there is no mistake that it is what’s right for you. If you hurt your partner with your decision, know that it is serving him a purpose too. Your relationship’s end is a new start for the both of you.
For the Forsaken.
I know how absolutely difficult it is to be left by the one you love. When once you felt so good about yourself and the perfect world you thought you once had, to be rejected and to not be wanted anymore by that one person you devoted your entire life to is enough to make you feel like crap. How long have you been together, a year? 5? 10? 15 years? How could someone throw everything away just like that? After all that you shared. I know everything else may have seemed perfect but the fact that things did not work out only means that you two are not meant for each other. It is never easy to understand and sometimes all you need to do is stop trying to. When these things happen, it is because they were meant to happen based on a purpose you are not expected to see at the onset but must believe in nevertheless. Even if it hurts like broken glass on an already open wound, even if it has hurt you and maybe sometimes even the people that are important to you, it happened for your own greater good which you will only start to see once you let go of the past and start seeing the brightness in the future that is ahead of you. So just stop with all the whys. You don’t need answers to everything. Delving on a failed relationship and overanalyzing things make it harder to let go and to move forward.
Just like loving, letting go is a decision and a commitment, and just the same, you have to let go with all of your heart too. There is no such thing as a half-hearted release. You must commit. Holding on to the past is nothing but entrapment so if you must cut your connection with everything that ties you to it, then do it. By letting go, you are opening your world to limitless opportunities and sources of happiness, friendship, fascination, experiences and love. By letting go of the past, you are giving yourself a chance to experience fully the newness and goodness of each blessing that comes your way without any fear and without any hesitation. Just trust in the purpose behind all things that happen to you and trust that things will only get better. All the past is, is a stepping stone to YOUR brighter future.
So yes, letting go is still not easy, it still never was and it still never will be but then again, that does not mean you can’t shorten the time that you have to go through this agony. Bouncing back is dependent on your determination. You are still in control of every single thing in your life so do not forget that.
High five! :)
© Karen Cornejo, September 2012
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