Why My Love Scares Me

July 29, 2012

All My Ramblings, Love

This entry is quite different because it’s purely about me.

I have come to a point in my life where I feel totally free and I am loving every bit of my independence. Do you know that you will never know the real value of anything or anyone unless you lose that something or someone? Well that’s how I came to love my freedom. I lost it for quite a while being in the most suffocating, constraining, mentally and emotionally draining relationship. I have felt how it is to have someone try to put my big and bubbly spirit inside a glass jar with teensy weensy holes on the cover.

Walking away from that relationship has been the most relieving experience ever. I felt I just escaped Alcatraz. I felt reborn. I realized how much I value my personal time and personal growth and how much unwilling I am to have my happiness compromised in any way. My adaptability has developed limits and now they are quite well-defined. Now I enjoy just being alone and doing things alone. Travelling, dining out, watching movies, spending weekends…whatever activity you can think of, I totally enjoy with just me, myself and I. I have come to appreciate and value the joys of doing anything I want, anytime I want to and without a single constraint.

I have not always been like this. I was always conscious of settling down at a certain age or sensitive with the fact that most of my friends are married and starting their own families. Now I am 31 and still single, but I am the happiest and the most contented that I have ever been.

That is just what scares me – that I love my freedom too much and I cannot even fathom the thought of having to give that one up. It would take a great man to deal with my unwillingness to be constrained, my unwillingness to compromise my happiness, my now limited adaptability, my value for personal time and my  love for a stress-free world. This man, if he ever exists, must love me so much to allow me to grow and must be all-supportive and nurturing, and he must be able to fascinate me for all eternity. It sounds so perfect that it sounds so impossible. But then again if there is such a man that great, then he will deserve nothing, and nothing, but the best from me.

Woah! Cheers! ;)

© Karen Cornejo, July 2012

P.S. Don’t stop here! Check out my other blogs, Think Purpose , To Settle is to Be Weak and Why Worry? :)

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About Karen Cornejo

My name is Karen and I am a true blooded Gemini. I was born in 1981 in the uber chaotic but equally beautiful city of Manila in the Philippines. I have recently relocated to Singapore, where I have been living for over a year now. I currently work as regional sales & marketing manager for a wonderful company that promotes wellness, purpose and abundance through our very unique product – therapeutic-grade essential oils. Since my life-long dream is to get SO rich that I don’t ever need to work again and I can just live in a beautiful island and do nothing but be happy and write…then might as well start living that dream now. Well, it’s only the writing part of that dream that I can afford at the moment, thus, this blog. Better to have a piece of that big dream than nothing at all! It is also true that I started this blog “because I’m tired of talking to myself.” Writing is my ultimate stress reliever. Most of the time, what I write is what I actually want to tell myself to give myself some needed reassurance that in the end, everything will be alright. I live each day with so much passion and there is nothing more I would want than to share this passion for life with everyone else. So this blog is for you as much as it is for me. I would love to hear from you too. For comments or whatever, feel free to drop me a note at primakarenrambles@live.com or like my page on Facebook www.facebook.com/PrimaKarenRambles. Thank you for reading my ramblings You are awesome! Love, Karen

View all posts by Karen Cornejo

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3 Comments on “Why My Love Scares Me”

  1. richard duran Says:

    you are more than what you thought of who you would become, and that is having a Beautiful heart, selfless, Vivid mind, Profound, positivity, kind heart, unique…and most of all being free spirited. i am not much on words because it’s all mixed up in my mind but there’s a lot to say of Wonderful thing’s about your personality and you deserve someone who will embrace all these traits of yours unconditionally that will take a stand of his Love for you . your views in Life are very inspiring to others and you share it by Heart, letting them know to always look up. you deserve to be Loved in any way that a Girl should always be Loved. every journey is an adventure to people who make it worthwhile of their Life and you are one of the few..you are one of a kind and that’s what makes you very very Special. continue to be an inspiration to others and i am one of them that have been inspired. i am with you to share your thoughts, Stay Happy and always put a Smile to every Life you will touch. Take Care & God Bless.

    Reply

    • Karen Cornejo Says:

      Hello Richard. Thank you for your very kind words. They are very much appreciated. Thank you for reading my blog and I am happy my writings were able to inspire you. Wishing you all the best :)

      Reply

  2. Chard Duran Says:

    Hello Karen, wishing you also the best things in Life. keep it up i will share your thoughts. take care always ciao :)

    Reply

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