Never regret anything. If you think you’ve been through so much shit already, if your heart has been shattered, stepped on, tattered and torn, don’t feel bad. If you’ve been through one failed relationship after another, discard all thoughts that you’re cursed. And don’t go hating that person that caused all that chaos. That person may have well just served his or her purpose in your life just as much as you have served your purpose in many people’s lives. As I write these words I hear my inner self ranting, “Purpose? What purpose? My body clock is ticking and you talk about purpose!”
You see, there are times when a person will come into your life, not meant to stay but just to serve a single purpose.
Say you were in a long term relationship and you meet this other girl or guy in an air of bliss and “magic”. You end your long term relationship and run away with your magical feelings. Happy…happy…and then boom after 30 seconds it’s over. Now you end up alone wondering what the hell happened. Mr. or Ms. Purpose is what the hell happened. That magical nuisance of a person served his or her purpose in your life as a wake up call for the stagnant relationship you were probably in. You were unhappy and were too stubborn to realize it or do anything about it that the One up there had to send you outside help just to hit your head with a mallet and make you realize that. Yes you may be left alone now but your eyes have suddenly been opened to the countless opportunities that surround you…things to do, people to meet, careers to pursue. Countless.
Maybe you met this perfect girl and both your feelings seemed to be mutual but things went nowhere before you could even say you had “something”. Think! What was her purpose? Maybe she was a distraction for you to finally get over a previous relationship you’ve been sulking about for the past six months. She’s gone now but you weren’t really that deep into her yet so no loss there PLUS you finally are over your previous relationship. Mission accomplished.
Or maybe you just came out of a relationship with a person you believed, with all of your heart, was the one you were destined (and wanted) to spend the rest of your life with. But things changed as the world turned and global warming happened (what the…). It ended and here comes that nagging question again of what the hell happened. Darling, maybe this I-thought-you-were-my-soul-mate-but-apparently-not person has already served his purpose in your life and has a new mission to take on. Maybe he taught you how it is to trust a person fully. Maybe he taught you that you are capable of loving genuinely and that you are worthy of receiving genuine love as well. Maybe he made you realize your maturity when it comes to dealing with endings. Maybe he helped you clean up the mess of a previous life you once had. Maybe he even got you into some kind of sport you’re now so addicted to. And maybe, just maybe, he introduced you to good friends you will forever have. And after that, you’d probably think, wow this person surely did a lot for me. It might not have worked but you surely got a lot from it. Now think what purpose you served in that person’s life. You will see that you both affected each other in more positive ways than one.
People come in and out of your life. Some stay, some disappear as fast as orgasms do, some you want to kick out of your life yourself. These people are there for a purpose…maybe to make you stronger, to make you realize your shortcomings, to improve you as a person or even as simple as introducing you to a new travel destination or teaching you how to appreciate wine, cheese, good music or whatever. However big or insignificant the reasons are, these people matter for experiences will be missed if not for them.
I’m just an ordinary girl, far from being an authority on anything but let me tell you this, when something beautiful happens and it suddenly falls apart…stop racking your brain thinking what the hell happened, what on earth you did wrong. When you get hurt, don’t be sad, don’t hate, but be thankful. Because that hurt or loss has a purpose far greater than you could ever imagine. Time is precious and it’s better spent not questioning but on opening your eyes to see the purpose all these would reveal to you. Some people wonder why others handle losses as if they were light as a feather and it is because of this enlightenment. Believe me, this will bring you peace and that to-die-for calmness that no one and nothing can take away from you.
© Karen Cornejo, July 2010